going home to West Virginia

I am sad to report that my Nana passed away last night. I will be getting on a plane for Tennessee in the morning. I will be with my family for the next 2 weeks ( I had already planned to go there next Friday for Spring break.) Hopefully, if we receive any good news I will be able to post it from my moms house.

I just have to take a second.

This post is not about our adoption but I just have to take a second to brag. Clinton teaches about business and does it through games and Business Simulations that he has developed. It is very much experiential learning. He runs both our own courses and is also guest speakers at other peoples events. Last night he presented at T. Harv Ekers Business Guerilla School. There were actually 1300 people in attendence last night ( not 800 - 1000 like stated in my previous post). He was absolutely awesome! From the back table where I was sitting it was a little difficult to see but thank goodness for Jumbo Tron. He kept the audience engaged and for the most part in hysterics! It was like Clinton at the Improv! The energy in the room was electric ( think along the lines of Anthony Robbins). He totally took control of the stage with his prescence. The audience absolutely loved him! They gave him a standing ovation. He was swarmed with people at the end wanting to congratulate him and share the lessons they learned through the exercises. We actually ran into several old friends that we hadn't seen in over a year. Some were volunteers for the event and some just happened to be students. They were absolutly speechless! Clinton has actually only been doing this for about a year and a half. He has come sooo far and is really beginning to master his craft. It has been a long hard struggle for us. Many lessons have been learned through mistakes that we have made, all of which he now teaches about and is part of his material. There have been so many highs and lows. I am very proud of him and am excited about what the future holds. I just feel really blessed. Our child is going to have one awesome daddy!

New Birth Mom?

We still haven't heard from the birthmom that we have been waiting for but our attorney just called us and he has another birth mother in mind for us. She wants to see several resumes, so we will be in the mix. She is very familiar with adoption as she was adopted herself. Our attorney actually handled her adoption 23 years ago!I am definitely not jumping to any conclusions about this one. I do know that she loves the beach and is a lifeguard. Did I ever mention that our favorite place is the beach? If it is meant to be, then it will happen. She is due late June. Hopefully, this one will not drag out for weeks and we will get an answer within a reasonable amount of time. Maybe by the end of next week or the beginning of the next week? I thought that we would get a pretty speedy answer from the last birthmom but didn't , so who knows? I do feel like this case is a little different and this birthmom has had a little more time to process her feelings.

To answer Helen's question about wearing white shoes after Easter... In the South it is considered improper ( at least the way I was raised) to wear white after labor day ( Early September) or before Easter. I have to say to this day I do not wear white shoes until after Easter ( crazy- huh!) Some other " Southern Things" are Red Velvet Cake ( I actually had one of my moms at school the other day bring me a red velvet cupcake because she knew I was from the south) and sweetened ice tea. Red Velvet cake is the most delicious cake that is red with cream cheese icing. Sweetened Ice tea is also something you see in the south. When you go out to restaurants you have to stipulate whether you want sweetened or unsweetened. If you order unsweetened ice tea in Ca they look at you like you are crazy. How else would you want your tea? It took me awhile to get used to this.

Clinton is in town this weekend and is presenting in front of 800 to 1000 people tonight. I am leaving in a few minutes to go watch him. I am very proud of him! He is also in negotiations with Chevron. They want him to go to Houston, Singapore, and South Africa to provide trainings for their young executives. It is a very exciting time in our house!

Heart full of gratitude

I have just returned home from the grocery store ( of all places) and my heart is filled with gratitude. For a couple of months I went to the grocery store and they never had my favorite soda ( Dt.Mt.Dew). I asked the clerk about this and he suggested that I put in a request for it. Tonight guess what I found on the shelves. My Diet Mt. Dew! The bagger then asked as usual "Can I help you out to your car?" ( I always say no thank you but might start taking him up on his offer when I have to deal with a baby and a cart full of groceries) It just made me start thinking about what a wonderful place I live. I truly love the community in which we live. It is clean, safe, 95% of the time people are happy, nice and courteous ( including drivers), the weather is always beautiful, and it is very pet friendly ( It is not unusual to be shopping in Macys or Nordstroms and run into people shopping with their dogs - also a couple of weeks ago I even saw a dog in church - 1st time for everything I guess) Now mind you would not find me shopping with my dog or see my dog in church ( I just think it is to bizarre) but there are pet friendly restaurants that we visit and it is always great to take Annabelle to the beach. Clinton is often away on the weekends ( this weekend he is in Hawaii- poor baby) and I never once feel uncomfortable or scared. This is such a great feeling considering the last place we lived- although a very nice neighborhood but just a bad city in general- I always felt a bit insecure when Clinton was away. Also, there are always soccer or baseball games going on just around the corner. I think it will be a great place to raise children!

The only downside to living in such a beautiful place is being so far away from my family and friends. I will always be in my heart a "West Virginia" girl and it will always be considered "home". I intend on having our children very familiar with West Virginia ( and Australia). I don't think you can find any nicer people in the world. I don't know if it is a "southern thing" or maybe just my parents but I feel I was raised to have manners and to be respectful of others ( also not to wear white shoes until after Easter - just kidding - kind of). I feel like kids today ( even in elementary school) are often missing these two traits.

Anyways, today I am grateful for my loving husband, my loving mom and family, my awesome friends, Newport Beach and the Pavilions around the corner for getting my Mt. Dew ( LOL).

surfing in Costa Rica?

Well its been over a week now and we still have no news. I am really starting to think that this birthmom is not going to work out for us. I called the attorneys office this afternoon just to make sure there was no news. I did find out that the birthmom is reviewing our resume as well as one other. Either she is taking awhile to decide which of us she wants to choose ( which I would think she would want to meet both couples to make her decision) or she is seriously considering raising the child. I know this must be a great time of turmoil for her and my thoughts and prayers are with her. I know in my heart whatever she chooses it will be for the best.

We had our 2nd Pathways class on Tuesday night. It was really good to hear stories about all the birthmoms. Everyone's experience was so different. I shared that my greatest frustration in this whole process is all the uncertainty. Will we be parents by June, September, December, next June? Will I be teaching next year? Can we plan a vacation this summer? It feels like our life is in a holding pattern right now. One of the other couples shared that during the adoption of their first child they would say things like "o.k. if we are not parents by X date then we are going on a surfing trip in Costa Rica." I kind of like that idea. If gives us something to look forward to but it is something that can be easily cancelled if need be. The best part of the class was at the end when I asked to see pictures of the other couples children. They were all so beautiful and it definitely gave me the warm fuzzies.

This journey of adoption is certainly somewhat of a roller coaster ride. It is filled with both highs and lows. I guess all we can do is strap ourselves in tightly and enjoy the ride!

Still Waiting

We couldn't stand it anymore so Clinton called our attorney's office. Our birth mother has gone to visit her mom for her birthday. I am assuming that this means she is telling her mom about the pregnancy (it is a little hard to cover up at this point). I am actually very happy about this fact. Last week she did not want her family to know under any circumstances. I know if it were my daughter I would definitely want to be there to support her. She might be reconsidering raising the baby herself. However, I feel like she is really thinking this through and will be confident in whatever decision she makes. We were given some tips on how to ensure that the birth mothers heart and head are aligned ( the heart will always win no matter what the head says). I feel confident I will be able to tell if and when we meet her.

At least there are a couple of conversations in my head that have been put to rest ( which makes me feel better) - she has in fact received our resume and it did not get lost in the mail and our attorney is in contact with her and we will get a definite yes or no answer ( I wasn't sure how much "space" and thinking time the mother was given before she was contacted by our attorney). All in all I think this is a good thing. We should hear something either tomorrow or Wednesday. So for the time being we are still waiting.

Just Waiting

Today is a beautiful day in sunny southern Ca! Clinton and I had breakfast at our favorite restaurant in Laguna Beach with Annabelle. He then played basketball while we hung on the beach. The beach was packed and everywhere you looked this was you guessed it - babies! We then came back and went to go look at baby furniture. We are now being patient and "just waiting". This is a very nerve wracking part. A million thoughts have gone through my head. Everything from "I wonder if she has received our resume yet" and "oh I hope it didn't get lost in the mail" and " I sure hope she likes our resume" and " I know she is going to call Monday or Tuesday" and " Oh I hope she didn't lose the attorneys number" and " I wonder what she is feeling right now" and " What if she has decided that she can raise a baby and doesn't want to choose an adoption plan" AAHHH! I can tell you that this waiting part is not very fun.It is the unknown that is driving me crazy. I am just staying positive and diplomatic with the attitude " It will happen if it is meant to!" With that said, I don't think I will look at anymore "baby gear" until our file is officially open. After all, if she is interested in meeting us than there is the little issue of actually meeting her! Yikes! more butterflies! Anyway, like I said we are "just waiting". I will let you know when we hear something.

We met with the adoption attorney today

Today we met with the adoption attorney. It was a very good meeting. I got many of my questions answered. He gave us positive things to look for as well as red flags when meeting with a birth mother. We are going to proceed with the case I mentioned in the last post. The next step is that he will give her our resume and she will decide whether or not she is interested in us. If she feels comfortable and picks us ( I forgot to ask if he was going to give her any other resumes besides ours) then we will have a conversation on the phone with her and meet her for lunch or dinner. We will meet and decide if it is a match for both of us. If everyone is comfortable then we will open a file and we will proceed. If everything works out then we will talk with her and decide what our relationship will "look like". We will discuss going to her doctors appointments with her, being present at the birth, how much contact she will have after the birth, etc.... We know that anything can happen and are not getting our hopes up ,however, we are very excited about this particular birth mother! It just "feels right". If it is meant to happen then it will.

We had our first "pathways" meeting last night ( the classes our homestudy agency requires). It was definitely very interesting. I guess that LA is a little different then anywhere else. There were 3 other couples there last night. All of them had already adopted 1 child and were on their 2nd adoption. Also, I was the only woman in the room besides the social worker. We were the only heterosexual couple there! I guess you can say that the pendulum has definitely swung in the other direction. They were a group of very nice men. It was good to hear the experiences of the "old pros" for us "newbies". We found what they had to say very useful. We have 3 more meetings before we are complete with the classes.

My Nana's neck is acutally doing better. They have a cervical collar on her because they cannot do surgery due to her bad heart ( she has been in congestive heart failure for sometime now). They said it would take 3 to 4 months to heal. The only thing is now she has pneumonia. Your prayers and thoughts are still appreciated. Thanks!

Shopping for Baby!

So besides the bad news that we received about my grandmother on Sunday, Saturday was actually a great day for us. We went shopping and bought some necessities. We wanted to get the bear neccessities "just in case". We are now the proud owners of a carseat, bassinet, lots of cute clothes - for a boy or a girl, soft blankets, newborn diapers ( they are just the cutest), bottles, cloth diapers and a snugli. We also bought everything we need for bath time and diapering time. There is so much that we still need to purchase, but I feel that if we got a call at the last minute we could at least bring the baby home and survive a couple of days.

Speaking of getting calls. We have made progress today. We got our classes scheduled that are necessary for a domestic adoption by our homestudy agency ( a feat in itself) and the best news is that we got a call from our adoption agency. They have another couple they are referring us to. They are 2 college students and the baby is due in May! The agency e-mailed us their picture and they are a beautiful latino / european couple! We have to find out more details tormorrow. The one thing I do know is that the adoption is a little out of our price range, so we have to see if we can make it work. We will not make any rash decisions. We will get all the details and weigh our options. If it is meant for us to have this little one then we will. I believe that God knows what he is doing and will give us the baby we are meant to have!

Here is one of our purchases from the weekend. Annabelle let me use her as a guinea pig. She resisted being put in it at first, but then loved it and did not want to get out. She enjoyed being carried around by her mama! You can see our other "kids" from around the world in the background. We help to support 20 children from around the world every month. We are constantly getting letters and pictures from them. It is a great feeling!

Sad News

My Nana fell this weekend and broke her neck. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated. Thanks.

More follies and a little about Annabelle

Now for some more classroom follies. Today our students dressed up like their favorite character from their favorite book to help celebrate "authors week". We had students in every imaginable costume. One of my first graders ( a very girly girl 7 year old) dressed up like a princess - actually how she put it -she was dressed as the girl that is the rich snob in Junie B. Jones. Her class took a math test today. I asked the students to put their heads down to show me they were finished with their test. Riley said " well actually I can' t put my head down because I don't want to mess up my updo" ( well excuuuuse me miss priss ). I didn't know that 7 year olds even knew what an updo was or even cared for that matter.

Sometimes you are teaching and you think that your kids are listening and paying attention. All of a sudden you will see a hand go up in the air. When you call on them because you think they have a legit question, something random comes out of their mouth like - " Do you know that my dads birthday is next month" huh? ( this especially has a tendency to happen in Kindergarten and 1st grade). This happened to me yesterday. When I called on Judah he said - " Do you know that next month is my dads birthday, then comes my dogs birthday , and then my birthday!" ( why no I didn't) But when he mentioned that his dogs birthday was coming up I suddenly remembered that it was Annabelle's birthday. Out loud ( unintentionally) I said " oh my dogs birthday is today". Judah then bursts out with "Happy birthday to your dog, Happy birthday to your dog" and sings the entire song. ( this was definitely not in the lesson plans for the day)

Speaking of Annabelle - here are some interesting facts about her.

1. I found Annabelle on the internet in 1999. She turned 8 yesterday

2. I knew I wanted a Lhasa Apso and wanted her name to be Annabelle. I then found the dog to match the name.

3.Annabelle has traveled all throughout North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, Atlanta Ga, Charleston SC, Phoenix Az, Denver Colorado, Las Vegas, Utah, all through Southern Ca including San Diego, LA, and Santa Barbara.

4. She has been on 4 plane rides across the country and back. ( she is so good on the plane that the person sitting beside me usually doesn't even know I have a dog until we land and I let her poke her head out of her carrier)

5. Annabelle's signature color is purple.

6. If it weren't so weird to have my dog and my daughter with the same name, I would name my daughter Annabelle.

7. Her nicknames include Anna banana, baby belle, nanners, TBO ( the best one), and pickle.

8. When we sleep, Clinton gets 1/4 of the bed, I get 1/4 of the bed and Annabelle gets 1/2 of the bed.( don't ask me how this happens she only weighs 13 lbs)

9. Annabelle pretty much rules our house ( at least until bambino comes along!)

update

The latest update with our adoption is that we have a meeting with our attorney on Wednesday. From now on I will refer to him as Mr.D. He will explain the entire process and we we will get more details on what to expect and how everything works. To answer Betsy's question- yes he does work with single moms. There are some that are featured on his website. As far as the birth mom being able to take the child back. How my principal explained it to me ( and I could be totally wrong - but will be clear on Wednesday) is that the birth mom gives up the baby to the attorney and not directly to the adoptive parents. Mr. D then gives the baby over to the adoptive parents. After this happens I don't think the birth mom can come back to reclaim the baby. There is something technical in how it is handled that prevents this from happening. I know this because my principal adopted a baby ( not using our attorney, but someone else). She had the baby for a couple of weeks and then the birthmom came back and reclaimed the baby. To say the least she was heart broken. She then learned of Mr. D - and used his services. This is one reason why she is such a big advocate for him. Like I mentioned, I am not really sure of the details but will be educated on Wednesday. Mrs.D ( the attorney's wife) said the wait time could be anywhere between immediately to a couple of years. She did mention that if we are willing to take an "all hispanic baby" that things would probably move pretty fast. We are just sitting tight. Receiving a baby anytime in the next year would be fine with us.

We also talked to the adoption agency that we were using for the Guatemala adoption. They will keep our case open for 2 years. We can come back anytime during that time period and not have to repay the $5000.oo agency fee. That is great news! Especially since we are still interested in Guatemala once things get settled down!