Adopting toddlers?

We got a call today about adopting not only 1 child but 2! The only catch - the little girl is 2 and the little boy is 3. They are a pair of siblings currently living in Kansas and need a home. Adopting toddlers? hmmmm. This is something that Clinton and I haven't really talked about because we just assumed we would be adopting a newborn. At first I was not really excited about the idea, but the more I think about it the more I like the idea. Like I mentioned in an earlier post I know a lot about kids from teaching but very little about babies.

Of course I have sooo many concerns. The primary concern is attachment. Will they be able to attach and bond with us after living with their birth mother their entire life? Their lives will be turned upside down and I know there will be behavior and emotional issues. Will we be able to handle it?

I haven't read any books on toddler adoption so I am sure there are a lot of factors I am not even considering. I would appreciate any information anyone could offer!

update

It has been awhile since I have posted. Let me recap what is going on in our lives.

I will start with the adoption front. We got a call last week about a birth mom but decided to pass due to there being a history of mental illness. It was a little painful doing this but we decided it was for the best. So we are still waiting for a birthmom. Some friends of ours just adopted a newborn boy. They found their birthmom through a friend of a friend. I am seriously considering e-mailing everyone listed in my contacts and just letting them know that we are adopting and to please keep us in mind if they hear of anyone. I haven't really been contacting our attorney because things have been a little crazy on the business side which I will get to later..However, I will now be contacting our attorney on a weekly basis, just to keep us on his mind.

Our business is doing really great. Clinton just got back from China a couple of weeks ago where he taught and they played his game at a business school for entrepeneurs. He had translators all around the room translating for him. It was a great experience for him. Our company is growing and we have brought on a couple of people to work for us. One of them spent many years with the Anthony Robbins corporation and we are getting some really great and new ideas. For several weeks we had 3 people staying with us ( the reason I wasn't pushing the adoption - considering there was someone living in the babies room) We are now down just to 1 person who spends a lot of time here but has a house in San Diego ( a couple of hours South).

I have been spending a lot of time helping Clinton and our team. At this point I am seriously considering leaving teaching and working for our company full time. It is a really hard decision to make. One the one hand I love working with Clinton and would love to be at home with him and be available to travel with him ( until the baby arrives of course). I am going to South Africa with him in August ( unless we have a baby) and have the opportunity to travel with him to China, Malaysia, and Singapore in September. I know that he could really use me here. On the other hand, I enjoy working with the kids, teach in one of the top schools in our district, and am not sure how our homestudy would be affected. I just wish we could be matched with a birthmom so my future would be more clear. I definitely plan on leaving teaching to become a full time mom and work from home once the baby is here... but what do I do in the meantime? I am basically working 2 full time jobs at this point and it is a little exhausting. We have 1 month left of school. I am praying that we hear something really soon so I can make some big time decisions and changes in my life.

That's all for now.

What message are we sending?

I have just gotten home from volunteering at Orangewood Childrens Home. What a good time! Orangewood is a temporary placement for children who are removed from their home for various reasons. From Orangewood children either go back to their parents or fostercare. I was a little nervous and did not know what to expect. I thought that maybe the overall feeling would be one of sadness. The children for the most part were in very good spirits and very friendly! The children were in ages from 6 - 17. Once a month they have a motivational speaker and pizza, games, ice cream, and arts and crafts afterwards. Tonight there were a group from LA's professional indoor football organization and a couple of "Laker Girls". The teenage girls were especially taken with the Laker girls. I worked in the painting area and quickly made friends with a 6 year old girl I will call "J". "J" was dressed in pink princess pajamas and was a little shy at first. Within a few minutes she was happily painting and even attempting to paint me! We had a great time painting together.

As I was driving home I was thinking about the children I met tonight. They have all experienced something traumatic in the past few days / weeks. They seemed so happy and content. I also found myself thinking about my children at school. How sad it is that some of my children at school who live in 4 million dollar houses are so distraught and down right depressed.
I have one student who stars in a reality t.v. show. Her parents are able to give her anything that money could possibly buy except for their time. She is absolutely one of the sadest children I have ever met. She is involved in a nasty custody battle and her parents are basically pulling her in two. I feel so bad for her. They are both fighting over her yet neither one is taking responsibilty for her. It just reinforces what I have always known. We are all the same. No matter the color, ethnicity, social status, economic status, etc... What all children need is your time, attention, and love. period. We are all the same and it doesn't matter what type of house you live in, what neighborhood you live in,what your political affiliation is or what groups you belong to. Neglect is neglect. It doesn't matter what the reason - if a parent is gone because he or she is partying or doing drugs or working all the time to make ends meet ( or pay for 4 million dollar houses). Children need your time and attention. What message are we sending to our kids?

Last Friday a family from the neighborhood I teach in were driving home from the mall ( a mom, grandma, a 3 year old, a 4 year old, and a 5 year old) A tractor trailer rammed in the back of them and all three children were killed. Parents - spend a little extra time with your kids this week and let them know how much you love and appreciate them! Don't ever let your kids feel that you don't have the time for them.

Ella the Elegant Elephant

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I have been spending all of my time getting back into the swing of things at work since returning from Spring Break. I had a lot of work to catch up on. I have also been helping Clinton get ready for this weekends event in San Diego. We have had a house full of volunteers all week helping get ready for event as well. There are several VIP's that will be in attendance and we wanted to make sure everything will run smoothly. We have brought a couple of people on board as full time employees and have been discussing official job titles. I have decided that I want my title to be "Company Mom". I really enjoy taking care of everyone. I discovered this week that cooking for 6 is a lot easier than cooking for 2!

It is a good thing that I have been working 2 full time jobs lately rather than one. It has me distracted from this whole adoption process. We have not heard a peep. My principal suggested that I give our attorney a call and get our names " back out there". I will give him a call on Monday to see what is happening. I knew from the beginning that it could be a fairly quick or quite lengthy waiting time, still it is quite frustrating not knowing if we are going to be parents next week or 1 year from now. I still believe it will happen when it is supposed to and I feel it will probably happen out of the blue when we least expect it. All I know is that we are ready when the time comes! I can't wait to be matched with a birth mom...

I will end this post on this note. We had a book fair at school this week. One of my parents bought me the book Ella the Elegant Elephant - I don't think there are any coincidences!

I'm Back

I am very thankful to be back home. Everything went fine in West Virginia. The funeral was as good as funerals can be. We did have a little scene from a Lifetime movie at the end. We can never escape a family event with at least a little drama. While we were at the cemetary we noticed that there was a car parked watching us ( a little weird). At the end of the burial a young 20 something girl asked my cousins which one was my uncle. They pointed to him. He was standing away from the rest of the family talking to a representative from the cemetary. She goes up to him and introduces herself as "Jessica" his long lost daughter ( my grandmother would have been spinning in her grave). It seems that my uncle could possibly be the father of this young woman ( 1 of 3 possibilities) - only a DNA test will tell. My uncle had just buried his mother and she chooses that time to come and introduce herself? He was a little distraught and livid to say the least. He doubts if he is the father and is seriously considering a DNA test. Who knows maybe will have a new family member.

After my grandmothers funeral I got to spend a lot of time with my mom. We went and spent a few days in Gatlinburg TN. It was a very nice visit as well as some much deserved rest. We did a lot of retail therapy. I go back to work tomorrow - bummer.

There is no news on the adoption front. We are still just waiting very patiently and praying very hard.

going home to West Virginia

I am sad to report that my Nana passed away last night. I will be getting on a plane for Tennessee in the morning. I will be with my family for the next 2 weeks ( I had already planned to go there next Friday for Spring break.) Hopefully, if we receive any good news I will be able to post it from my moms house.

I just have to take a second.

This post is not about our adoption but I just have to take a second to brag. Clinton teaches about business and does it through games and Business Simulations that he has developed. It is very much experiential learning. He runs both our own courses and is also guest speakers at other peoples events. Last night he presented at T. Harv Ekers Business Guerilla School. There were actually 1300 people in attendence last night ( not 800 - 1000 like stated in my previous post). He was absolutely awesome! From the back table where I was sitting it was a little difficult to see but thank goodness for Jumbo Tron. He kept the audience engaged and for the most part in hysterics! It was like Clinton at the Improv! The energy in the room was electric ( think along the lines of Anthony Robbins). He totally took control of the stage with his prescence. The audience absolutely loved him! They gave him a standing ovation. He was swarmed with people at the end wanting to congratulate him and share the lessons they learned through the exercises. We actually ran into several old friends that we hadn't seen in over a year. Some were volunteers for the event and some just happened to be students. They were absolutly speechless! Clinton has actually only been doing this for about a year and a half. He has come sooo far and is really beginning to master his craft. It has been a long hard struggle for us. Many lessons have been learned through mistakes that we have made, all of which he now teaches about and is part of his material. There have been so many highs and lows. I am very proud of him and am excited about what the future holds. I just feel really blessed. Our child is going to have one awesome daddy!